Return of the Red Moon

A couple months back, I wrote an article about going on DEPO and how it affected my Red Moon Cycle. I am happy to follow up on that article and say that the Red Moon has returned to its regular cycle.

At last, this terrible nightmare is over!

A couple months back, I wrote an article about going on DEPO and how it affected my Red Moon Cycle. I am happy to follow up on that article and say that the Red Moon has returned to its regular cycle.

Why is this important? There are some of us in the pagan community who use our cycle to connect with the moon and the Goddess divine energies. Having cut myself off from my Red Moon by artificially changing it using hormones to keep myself from getting pregnant when I had a partner who didn’t even want to be with me was completely pointless. Of all the bad choices I have made this year, this was the worst one. I put myself through months of depression (which led to the breakup of that relationship) and emotional roller coaster from hell. It took over three months for my Red Moon Cycle to return to normal after the effects of DEPO were supposed to have worn off.

My point is, I have learned a valuable lesson about body and emotional awareness. I will not take any birth control that forces my body out of its normal hormonal functions again and I will not let a partner force me to choose between being with them and going on birth control again. I know now that if someone wants to be with me, they will not only accept my choices but will encourage them. If they don’t, I won’t negotiate the issue with them. Going on any kind of hormonal birth control is a deal-breaker with me.

Ideally, I would like to be with someone who also wants children and would like to share that experience and task with me. At this time, I would like to have one child but I am open to the idea of two. I have a feeling that I would be one of those hippy moms with the cloth diapers hanging on the clothesline with my own baby food made in the fridge. I would likely also be one of those moms that stayed home most of the time or maybe work part time if there was a financial need for it. That’s all future dreaming though, I am certainly not ready to take on that momentous task just yet.

To come back to the point, I welcome back my Red Moon Cycle with open arms and joy. I can’t believe that for the first time in my life, I am actually excited to have it return. I know myself better when I am on my cycle then when it’s gone. I felt absolutely not like myself when it was gone. Now that it is back, I can continue where I left off with my awareness study of it. I will post another follow up blog more about how you can deepen your relationship with your Red Moon Cycle.

Blessed Be!

Priestess Spritisong Dreamweaver

Beginner Rituals

Rituals provide a template to guide our emotions and actions according to situations. Thereby, they bring a sense of familiarity and order in our life. The purpose of a pagan ritual is to bring our focus to effect personal and environmental change, particularly changes in consciousness.

Ritual: a religious or solemn ceremony consisting of a series of actions performed according to a prescribed order.

Rituals provide a template to guide our emotions and actions according to situations. Thereby, they bring a sense of familiarity and order in our life. The purpose of a pagan ritual is to bring our focus to effect personal and environmental change, particularly changes in consciousness.

Wiccan rituals have one of the simplest ritual formats you will find. Each step is clearly marked out and has a purpose. My former teacher used to describe holding ritual like throwing a fancy party for some distinguished guests.

First, you clean your house:

Clear the space of negative energy
Cleanse the ritual tools

Then you decorate:

Create a sacred circle
Set up the altar

Make sure you have security for your guests:

Summon the elemental protectors

Be sure to send out the invitations to your guests:

Evoke the Gods if you want to have their support for your ritual. If you want to draw the Gods into you, then you Invoke them. For for information read my post about Invoking vs Evoking.

Oh, your guests are hungry when they arrive, better thank them for coming and feed them:

Give thanks to the Gods
Give offerings

Now, time for the entertainment:

Perform magic or other work

Party is over, better say goodbye to your guests:

Say farewell to the Gods

Pay the security team and thank them for their help:

Give offerings to and release the elemental guardians

Lock up the house till next time:

Open the circle and release the energy

Once you have the basic format of a ritual, you can improvise and alter it as much as you like.

If you have any ritual formats that you would like to share or have a blog post about yours, I would love to read them. Please post them in the comments.

~Priestess Spiritsong Dreamweaver

Walking the Path of the Goddess: Week 2 Summery

This second week of my 28 Days Walking the Path of the Goddess daily devotional challenge has definitely seen some ups and downs.

This second week of my 28 Days Walking the Path of the Goddess daily devotional challenge has definitely seen some ups and downs. The week started out pretty rough but ended pretty good. I would say that this week forced me to really take a hard look at what I have been to myself during my recovery from my break up.

Let’s start with the good things this week. I enjoyed a quiet week with not as much busy stuff going on. I had a nice visit with my parents on Friday. I was able to go to my friend’s wedding. It was a lovely event at her parents place. She looked amazing and her new husband was weepy when he saw her. I had a wonderful visit with some of my oldest friends.

However, the whole event was somewhat shadowed because I was supposed to have been there with my ex. I ended up with an empty chair next to me at the table. I know that it was actually for a friend of ours who didn’t end up making it out to the wedding but it ended being a symbol for that part of my life where I utterly failed. I couldn’t help but look at it and be a little sad. My ex and I had been planning a trip to follow this wedding out to Alberta. It kind of dug at me as I drove back home after the wedding.

I originally wrote a post before this which I have titled “Dirty Laundry”. It’s a list of all the bad things that happened in my previous relationship. I am not going to post it but it was an interesting thing for me to look back at and read. It’s easy to find all the flaws in your relationship but it’s much harder to see the good things.

For the last six weeks, I had started to think that my previous relationship was a waste of my time. I am starting to come the other side of that. It wasn’t a waste of time, it was actually a good time for me. I had some of the best experiences while in that relationship. While the ending kind of sucked, the majority of it was pretty good.

Here’s my “Clean Laundry” list of what was good about my last relationship:

I had a partner who made me laugh, challenged my ideas of thinking, taught me new games, introduced me to great friends, and shared their loving family with me. He was fun to go hiking with. He was awesome with my dog. He was an amazing cook. He was hardworking and passionate about his store. He got along with my family and friends. He was dependable when there was an emergency.

What I have to remember is that I am only responsible for how I feel. No one else can feel what I feel, nor can they control what I am feeling. So when I feel hurt, anger, love, or happiness, it’s all on me to process those feelings. This past week, my path with the Goddess has been a challenge to keep my heart open and allow myself room to breathe, relax, feel, witness, and allow. I have unloaded all my by present thoughts and emotions on her while in my devotionals. It’s helping me process the waves that life has been delivering me.

One of my favorite musicians took his own life this week. It was yet another swift reminder of the crippling effects depression has on the world. There is great sadness happening everywhere right now. People are not able to see a way of out it and thus think it’s just time to end their lives.

Suicide does not end the pain, it just gives it to someone else. These words echo through my mind when I think of my friends and family when they are getting to the lowest points in their lives. It echoes in my mind when I think of my own moments of depression. They come and go much like moments of joy and happiness.

I spent some time talking with my family about our history of depression and how we deal with it. We are no strangers to the effects of depression and suicide, we have lost too many members of our family to it. Knowing that, I keep myself aware of my states of happiness. I have to be aware that there is the potential in my emotional state of being to fall in the same hole that my ancestors fell into. I think that my meditation practice has helped me process mental stress ever since I was in high school. That’s when I started following the ways of the Goddess and God.

This week, the two days that I didn’t do my daily devotionals were the hardest on me for my feelings of depression. I was too busy to actually take the time to do the devotionals. That’s the excuse I told myself but I actually could have made the time to meditate or journal. I ended up sleeping instead of doing those tasks. For me, oversleeping is a clear sign that something is wrong. Since I am about to go into week three, I have a chance to reset again. I am really glad that I decided to do this 28 day practice. It’s given me a lot to think about and reflect on.

~Priestess Spiritsong Dreamweaver

Lughnasadh is coming

We are quickly coming to the end of summer and the start of the major harvest seasons. Lughnasadh is the Sabbat that takes place on August 1, halfway between the summer solstice and the equinox.

We are quickly coming to the end of summer and the start of the major harvest seasons. Lughnasadh is the Sabbat that takes place on August 1, halfway between the summer solstice and the equinox. This festival is alternately known as Lammas, or Loaf Mass, because it marks the first harvest of wheat and grains. Customarily, our ancestors would celebrate this time by making bread and storing the grains away for winter.

In Irish mythology, the Lughnasadh festival is said to have been begun by the god Lugh as a funeral feast and athletic competition in commemoration of his mother or foster-mother Tailtiu. She was said to have died of exhaustion after clearing the plains of Ireland for agriculture. Tailtiu may have been an earth goddess who represented the dying vegetation that fed mankind. (linked reference)

As someone who does not take part in agriculture directly and does not have a corn or wheat field to tend, I typically will celebrate Lughnasadh with a feast of the local harvests, share stories, and play games or have friendly competitions.

Lughnasadh is the first the three harvest festivals and it’s a good opportunity to give thanks to the Gods for sacrificing themselves for us, so that we might be fed through the winter. For me, the harvest festivals are a clear sign that the work of the year is coming to a close.I don’t actually have any food storing to do since I live in a society where I can work all year long and earn my pay so that I may keep a roof over my head, cloths on my back, and food in my pantry. So what I end up working on during the year is a goal.

My goal for this year has been to grow my skills as a yoga teacher and work on gaining employment at a yoga studio. Typically, I start this kind of work at the Winter Solstice but this year I added a second project that works in tandem with the first and that is to deepen my path as a Priestess. I want to be able to offer something more to my path as a yoga teacher that includes my pagan spirituality.

When I pause at the solar festivals to give honor to the Gods and give thanks for all that they have provided us with, I like to look back and see my progress and forward at my possible futures. I will normally do some ritual work to bring forth my desired future and to lay the groundwork for what I need to achieve by the next Sabbat. I will often give back to the earth a special loaf of bread that I bake myself as my thanks for the Gods providing me with all that I need.

This year, I have been working with my coven to help them support their families. We have been quite successfully so far but we all had to go through a rough spring and early summer. We are just about ready to celebrate the union of two coven members and the joining of their families. All the while, they have found ways to support their new marriage, just in time for the ceremony. I cannot wait to see what the harvest has in store for us this season!

Blessed be!

~Priestess Spiritsong Dreamweaver

Day 9 of My Goddess Path Work: Having a Bad Day

My daily devotional practices have been great for making me feel at peace when I am already having a good day but yesterday, I did not have a good day.

My daily devotional practices have been great for making me feel at peace when I am already having a good day but yesterday, I did not have a good day.

I went out to enjoy the season premiere of Game of Thrones with my two coven mates and my ex showed up. Earlier in the week, I had contacted him to ask if he had planned on being there. I wanted to know so that I could prepare myself to see him again. The last thing I wanted, was to feel angry or upset while trying to enjoy my show. I hadn’t actually expected him to show up though.

The moment I saw him, the bottom fell right out of my stomach. All my feelings of anger towards him came flaring back up and I had to take a few calming breaths to try and relax but it didn’t work. I decided to just let them sit and try not to act on them.  He ended up sitting with us and for a little while it felt like old times but I knew that something was different between us, I felt cold and chilled the whole time he was sitting with us. There was a distance between us and I don’t know if we will ever be able to be the friends we once were.

I believe in being more mindful of your actions so that you can recognise when you are starting to repeat behaviours that are less then helpful. For me, my challenge is letting go of those feelings of anger when I see him and the hurt that they cause me so that I don’t lash out. When he says things like, “You seem happier, I am happier now too,” I can’t help feel hurt by that and fire back, “I am happier.” And then I know, I have lashed out in anger and it’s a downwards spiral from there of just hurtful words coming out of my mouth. I can’t help it though, it makes me feel better when they are out there in the open rather then holding them in.

I am happier though. I am happier because he’s not controlling my life anymore. I don’t feel guilty when I want to go do things that I enjoy. I don’t plan my days around what someone else wants to do. I do what I want, when I want, and how I want to do it. If I am at a party, I stay as long as I feel like. If there’s a yoga class I want to take, I go to it.

Does this mean that I am not a little sad? I only get sad when I think about all the time I wasted on us. We wasted time in figuring out that we wanted different things from life and I can’t get that time back.

I am 34 years old and I want to start a family someday. I want to go back to school and become a teacher. I have learned that I am by far better off without him in my life and much happier. I can focus on my yoga, my Priestess path, my friends, my family, and my dog. I can be there for my coven mates as they plan their wedding. I can hold space for friends dealing with grief and loss.

When I got home last night, I dedicated my devotional practice to working through the emotions of anger and hurt but letting the Goddess carry me. My yoga practice was focused on moving that energy through the body and letting me work through it. I did some heart opening poses and spent a good deal of time in supported fish, which keeps your heart wide open.

I switched up the order of my devotional practice to yoga, then journal, then card reading, then mantra, and then, instead of quiet time with the Goddess, I unloaded all that I was feeling to her. All of my angry, hurt, and frustration. I asked my matron Goddesses, Diana, Yemaya, and Skadi for their guidance, wisdom, and strength. I also did a meditation where I put all of my good and bad experiences with my ex into a box and put it in my heart altar (a construct in my mind that I created in my yoga teacher training).

I felt more peaceful once I headed to bed and hugged my dog for comfort. He’s the brightest blessing in my life and always there for me emotionally. I can count on him to be there when I need cuddles. If anything were to happen to him, I don’t know what I would do.

Bright blessings,

~Priestess Spiritsong Dreamweaver

Out of the Broom Closet

There are still people out there that fear witches. I would say without any real good reason but it’s enough that some witches and pagans feel the need to hide their beliefs and practices from their friends, family, and coworkers. It’s what we in the community call, “Staying in the broom closet.”

I am most definitely out of the broom closet. I have have been since I was in college. At first, it was just with friends and immediate family but over time, I became more public about it. With the changes in technology and the adaption of social media, it is easier to be “out” as a witch then ever before. I have been writing pagan blogs for a few years now and been part of a few public pagan organizations in my community. I have no problems talking about my beliefs and practices with the public or being a public face for witches and pagans.

I can understand why some people would want to stay out of the public with their beliefs. I remember a friend who once told me that I was going to hell because of my witchcraft. I remember being really hurt by that because I don’t actually believe in a “hell” or the concept of “sin”, I believe in morality & ethics, not sin & damnation. However, that does not stop others from forcing their beliefs upon me. That being said, I know now that my friend was coming from a place of love, even if a little misdirected. One should never come to any religion or belief out of fear because fear only begets more fear. Since that time, I have come to just say, “Thank you for your thoughts of concern,” to those who attack me for my beliefs. I can tell you, it’s only happened once in the last ten year from a guy who came to Jesus out of his fear of damnation. I guess he figured just by being close to pagans, he would be damn to Hell (I always ask, is that one “L” or two?). Fun fact, the words “God” and “Hell” both come from old Norse and they refer to Odin, ruler of the Norse Gods, and Hel, the place where the dishonored go when they die.

I remain public with my pagan practice because I want to create a world where everyone can practice their spirituality without fear. I do not live in any kind of fear of what someone will try to do to me because I know that I have the laws of my country on my side. That and the confidence that most people don’t actually care what I believe and practice.

If you are still waiting to come out as a witch or pagan, take your time. There’s no rushing these things but when you do, know that there are others out there like you and will be there to support you.

Blessed be!

Priestess Spiritsong Dreamweaver

First Week of the 28 Days of the Walking the Path of the Goddess

This week has been awesome for me. I have really enjoyed setting aside time to sing my mantra on my mala beads, sit in silence with the Goddess, practice yoga, and write in my journal.

This week has been awesome for me. I have really enjoyed setting aside time to sing my mantra on my mala beads, sit in silence with the Goddess, practice yoga, and write in my journal.

To start my devotional practice, I do some yoga. It’s usually about 10-15 minutes of a practice. Then I sit on my meditation set and do my 108 mala mantra ring. Then I sit in silence with the Goddess and allow her to be present with me. At the end, I pull out my journal and write about my day, my thoughts, and my feelings. The practice tends to take me anywhere between 30 minutes to an hour depending on what I end up doing in my yoga practice or my silent time.

I think that I picked a really good time to start this practice. My life has been moving in all sorts of directions I had not anticipated in the last few months. I am on a pause from teaching yoga, I am single again, I just about lost a close friend to depression, and my job is no longer challenging me and I have no growth aspirations within in.

While doing this practice, I realized that it’s time for me to move forward with my life. I decided to start the ball rolling with getting my teaching degree. I had a meeting with an academic adviser and we discussed what I would need to do to apply and what I should do while I am saving up the funds to return to school for upgrading. I have been advised to contact the administration of the local schools to offer up my services as a volunteer in the schools. I didn’t even know that this was something I could do but apparently it’s very common to have prospective students of the teaching program do this.

I also need to add a few missing courses and upgrade my GPA. I will be enrolling in the human kinetics courses and the Okanagan Collage in order to get the 24 credits I need to specialize in teaching physical education along with history.  I am really excited about this because it will not only be helpful when looking for teaching jobs but it will also help my yoga teaching by gaining a better understanding of how the body works and memorization of human anatomy.

I expect to enroll at the Okanagan Collage in 2019 to start the upgrading process. It will likely take me about two years to upgrade the 10 classes that I need but hopefully by then, I will know for certain that teaching is what I would like to do. Volunteering in the high schools around town will give me the opportunity to do that. I have been very resistant to returning to school because I do not wish to go back into debt, so this time, I will be paying for all of the courses myself and I am giving myself time to save up to do it.

I am not giving up on being a yoga teacher though. I have been making sure to attend a yoga class once a week for the last few. It’s been good for me to just be in class again. I have missed learning and being in a class setting. I am learning about how the flow of the classes at Tandava work so that when I get the email about upcoming fill ins are posted, I can volunteer to help out.

In conclusion, this week has been very good for moving energy in my life to the places that I need it. I can’t wait to see what shifts in the three weeks left.

Blessed Be,

Priestess Spiritsong Dreamweaver